Welcome to my world...

Friday, April 07, 2006

who was trying to hack into my blogger?? was it you??

So I get home and check my email.. and there's all these emails from bloggersupport.. about the password info I requested... grrrr.. someone has been trying to hack into my blog... WTF? like is my blog THAT important? Weird too because the people who have peeved me off most lately.. I haven't mentioned here.. at all... not because I think I'm in the wrong.. I just don't want to say things I might regret later. BCZ.. man there are things I WISH I could say... you know who you are.. and your opinion of me is shit.. and you'd think family would be more supportive.. but I guess you don't consider me as much family as I consider you... whatever.. no biggie.. no huge loss to me..

I got my hours increased at work.. starting next week.. doubling my shifts.. so I'll be working a lot more.. and making a lot more money.. here's a little thing for all of you questioning if I can afford another kid... Matt just got 1.50$ raise.. I just got 25c raise and doubled my hours.. I afforded two kids fine on what I was making before.. I won't need a bigger house.. true I could use a new car.. but I'm focusing on getting out of debt before I do that.. it's all a matter of priorities.. if I WANTED to get a car.. I coulda.. but.. I WANT to get out of debt.. that's right.. PAY OFF THE CREDIT CARD... I don't want to be a slave to debt anymore.. I want financial freedom.. and I'm getting there.. we've paid off 1500$ to the debts in the last month.. the osap loan will be GONE by the time the baby gets here if I concieve this month.. plus.. I am 2000$ less in debt than I was when I had Drew.. and I make a hell of a lot more money now. Besides... I'm not asking you to pay for my kids.. I pay for them myself.. so I really don't get how it's your business WHAT I do with my paycheck. ( I know I whine about being broke.. but that's only because i dont' have money left the 2 days before payday... which I am informed is perfectly normal... I'm working on it... I have a week to go before payday and still 100$ in the bank..) (Darcy..I want to thank you for letting me know what it's like for people who actually don't piss away their whole pay on payday... that helped me more than you know.. and is probably one of the bigger things I learned from you.. I get it now)

For the people out there.. complaining that my kids are hyper and perhaps not the best behaved... DREW HAS ADHD.. like his DAD.. they're medicated now.. it's helping.. all kids are different and have different personalities.. parenting has very little to do with how a child turns out.. amazingly enough.. if you want proof.. look at me and angela.. look at kiera and john.. look at mom and barb.. your inner personality has a lot more to do with how you act and what interests you than anything parents do.. I LIKE my kids.. I think they are great! I love spending time with them.. they are some of the most beautiful people I know... plus... I know that the one person who I KNOW is questioning my parenting ability.. has kids younger than mine... give them time.. they will grow into being little boys.. just like me kids have. or do you forget how nice and well behaved Drew was when he was 3?? BTW.. Drew's teachers think he's a wonderful kid.. he won citizen of the month in december.. and he raised more money than any other kid in his school doing the stairclimb for cancer..and he's one of the nicest people I know. Granted Joey is a little wild... you can blaim that on me.. I love the joy in his spirit.. and I don't want to crush that.. I think he is an amazing person.. but I don't want to break him.. emotionally.. at all... so I go pretty easy on him. We're working on the discipline now that I realize he's not a baby anymore.. he's getting better... and he's one of the funniest people I know..

To those of you suspecting that I'm only doing this to get another girl... granted.. that would be nice.. but.. there is no way I would take a decision like this... and have another kid... to get a girl.. when I know I have about 15% odds of getting a girl after having 2 boys with matt.. I know this baby will probably be a boy.. and I'm ok with that. The desire to have another baby actually started with watching a little tiny boy pushing a car around at one of the christmas parties... if I end up with a girl I'll be thrilled... if I end up with another boy.. I'll be thrilled too..

The only real concern I have is that this feels like something that is SUPPOSED to happen.. and the worry there is that it MAY be another test.. another thing to get through... but.. the feelings I feel are of joy.. so maybe .. just maybe.. this is a present or reward of some type.. I don't know.. I am scared of being sick while pregnant.. I am scared of having another painful 15 hours of labor.. I am NOT worried about caring for another child.. I am not worried about finances.. I am scared of choking to death on my stomache contents if my reflux gets worse.. I am scared of my blood pressure going too high and having to be induced.. but we all know how well I get along with pregnancy anyways (NOT) so that shouldn't be any big suprise. I've started watching my diet and walking, or exercising some other way, every day to help prevent those problems...

I just want to say.. this post to my blog is directed solely at two people.. the ONLY two people out of the people I've told that have been negative about it.. funny how everyone else has either been supportive.. or nice enough to fake being supportive because they realize we are adults and able to make our own decisions and live with the consequences..

Anyhow.. my youngest son is begging me to take him to tim hortons... and I can't think of any good reason not to... so.. off I go.. forgive the rant if it wasn't directed at you.. I just have a hard time saying all of this stuff when I'm face to face with people.. and hey.. it's my blog.. I can say what I want to. To those of you being supportive.. or faking it.. I love you all.. (((HUGS)))


At 12:42 AM, Blogger sherilaugh said...

I also wanna say.. it's always a joy receiving flames about my blog.. I thought i was being pretty nice about it.. considering how pissed I felt.. but.. apparently I am supposed to keep my mouth shut about anything that annoys me.. while other people can say whatever the hell they want to to me.. fuck that.


Post a Comment

<< Home